The Struggle (was) Real!
Ok, who’s with me on this: The one time of year when things are supposed to slow down and our “regular world” is put on the back burner while the magical time of Christmas emerges – now seems to be one of the most stressful?
“Let’s get together after the holidays,” we say to friends as we’re rushing off to another obligation… Don’t you think that’s really weird?? I mean, isn’t this exactly the time of year we should be spending time with friends and family – not yelling “let’s get together after the holidays” over the shoulder as we dash off to another Cookie party. It’s bass-ackwards.
We put the stress on ourselves
I don’t recall it always being this way, but maybe it’s because we’re adults now, and feel responsible for making the holiday season ‘amazing” for family and friends. A lot of us feel obligated to attend parties we’d rather not, buy gifts for everyone within our periphery, roll out the red carpet on home decorating, menus, entertaining, gifts and stocking stuffers for family and pets, of course. Oh, and don’t forget to wrap it up super pretty with a homemade gingerbread man name-tag, complete with hand stenciling in royal frosting. I jest. Sort of. I know someone who does that. 😉
I Used to Run Myself Ragged with Holiday Perfection
Until 4-5 years ago, I ran myself ragged every holiday season. You ladies know what I’m talking about! Every Christmas, I decked-out the house like the Griswald’s, filled the foyer with 100+ poinsettia plants. Christmas lights sparkled inside and out.
I’d spend a month planning elaborate menus, making handmade place-cards, individual hand-written menus (Calligraphy of course), elaborate floral and table arrangements…. Then a ridiculous number of gifts, stocking stuffers and hostess gifts for family, friends and the amazing people who help us year-round like cleaning ladies, gardeners, etc. Plus holidays dinners made from scratch.
It wasn’t fun anymore. So, I stopped.
One August about 4 years ago, I felt my chest tightening as I thought about the upcoming holidays. The self-imposed frenzied dynamic I had created just hit me, and that was it. No more. I made a decision to change it, to simplify – and that’s exactly what happened.
NOW: I focus on the “Awe” not the “Flaw”
That Christmas, I took a much different perspective, implementing 7 “Best Practices” that have made all the difference in the ability to truly enjoy the holidays spirit. For the first time in a long-time, the holidays are relaxing, enjoyable and filled with gratitude towards family and life in general. Here’s what helped me:
7 Smart Ways to Simplify & Love the Holidays!
1. Perfect is boring. Relax & Let it Go
Seriously, no one cares if your plates match. The truth is, no one cares if your pies don’t have the perfect crimp, or that the red wine was poured into a white wine glass because the 8th one broke.
Perfect is boring and it robs you of funny stories to tell later. Right?! I mean, my family still cracks up at the Christmas Eve we made dinner at my parent’s house in Seattle (our childhood home) and ended up having dance-off’s in the living room after a few martini’s. We forgot about the baked potatoes in the oven until it was time to go to bed. They were….uhhh…..definitely baked. Shriveled like raisins. Oh, and the roasted asparagus in the warming oven. That was DOA too.
The point is, perfection isn’t going to happen – and no one really cares. The fun of life usually happens in the mishaps. Trying to make everything perfect not only stresses you out, but it affects everyone else too. My family doesn’t give a rats ass if I hand-write individual menus. They’re just happy that we are all together.
No one cares that there are only 3 types of cookies not 6, or that you wore the same dress last Christmas. Did you have Whole Foods deliver Thanksgiving sides, instead of making them yourself? No one will notice nor will they care. What they will notice and feel is love and gratitude that you are present, relaxed, joyful and in the moment.
Those are the memories that are most precious. Let’s give ourselves a break. When you start feeling tense and uptight because you can’t find the special-holiday candles…..let it go. Grab another candle, pour a glass of wine, and enjoy the your family.
2. Streamline Gift Giving
Do you have a big family and stress out about getting everyone a gift? Believe me – everyone else in the family probably feels the same way. Christmas shouldn’t be about stressing over buying 100 people gifts, nor going into debt to do it. Have a family agreement to draw names, so each person only has 1 person to buy for.
Or, try setting an agreed upon price-limit for gifts. Like, under $50, under $100 or whatever works best in your family.
3. Shop Online
I’ve shopped online for Christmas gifts & Stocking Stuffers for like the past 15 years. No joke. I was an early adapter 😉 I mean, unless you truly love Christmas shopping at the mall (not just going to enjoy the holiday vibe) – “www” is the way to go. Not only are gifts delivered directly to your house, but there’s the convenience of sending gifts to out of town family directly from the retailer.
+ Saves time & hassle. With 24/7 access you can shop anywhere, anytime right from the from the comfort of your cozy sofa. Do it at your leisure when you’ve got a few…. I love shopping early in the AM when it’s nice and quiet around here!
+ Access to more inventory. You’re far more apt to find the right size and color online, vs in the store. Why? Because online inventory is pulled from a large warehouse or sourced from multiple store locations. How many times has a store been out of your size, but they offer to “find it at another store” for you? Hassle.
+ Free Shipping. Most retailers offer Free Standard Shipping, especially during the holidays. Take advantage of that! Gifts delivered right to your doorstep. Hello!!??
+ Safety factor. Listen, not to be a buzzkill – but let’s just say it’s safer shopping from home then walking to your car in a dark parking lot, with bags of merchandise in your hands. Point made.
4. Get it Gift-Wrapped
Most online retailers offer gift-wrapping services at check-out, for a little extra. Take advantage of it! The way I look at it – I’d rather create more time to spend with family vs trying to cover every single detail myself. The little things add up, right?
5. Staying Organized
As the gifts arrive, I keep them in the office, organized “by person.” I label XE for Christmas Eve gifts & SS for Stocking Stuffers, so they’re easy to ID after a couple few cocktails. I wrap anything needing gift-wrapping as it arrives. That way I don’t have a pile of things to wrap at the last minute. Mid-late November is my self-imposed “done with Christmas shopping” target. Think of how much more relaxing it feels to have it all done by December 1st!
6. Be a Party Picker
Chill-ax. It’s totally fine to say no
Whittling your holiday party schedule down to the few that you truly want to attend, is a game changer. Most of us feel obligated to say “Yes” to parties we’d rather not attend, myself included. We used to fly through the holidays in a constant, mindless state of “go-go-go” from one obligation to the next without taking a breath.
Inevitably, it resulted in a lack of sleep and feeling like crap from eating too much holiday-food and cocktails. I mean, it’s all fun and games until someone has a hangover ;-(.
Instead, pick a few parties that you truly want to attend, and if necessary 1 or 2 that “you should” because they’re work related. Say “no” to the rest. Watch how much more time, energy and joy you’ll experience!
7. Outsource for Help
Hire, Delegate or Accept help!
Outsourcing is enlisting other people or services to help with workload! It is the best – especially during the holidays! Outsourcing can be hiring someone to help, accepting help when offered, or delegating tasks to others. Some of us are bad about accepting help – “don’t worry, I’ve got it.” That was old-me. New-Shelli says “Sure! You bring the alcohol & dessert!”
Everyone’s budget is different, and not everyone wants to “just hire someone.” I get it – holidays are already pricey. Outsourcing is about finding ways to include others, so you aren’t doing it all yourself.
+ Everyone Brings Something:
Side, Dessert or Wine. Be sure to assign who brings what, otherwise you may end up with all sides and no desserts. No Bueno!
+ Day Before Help:
Tell you sister to come over the day before to help set-up and arrive early the day of, to help with last minute items. You always need a wing-woman the “day of.” It’s the details!
+ You Light the Candles:
Designate 1-2 people to be in charge of lighting candles, filling wine and water glasses, and helping to carry food in from the kitchen to the table.
+ Make a Playlist.
My sister always makes a fun holiday playlist that we listen to all day. Consider having someone do that for you too!
+ Drunken Gift-wrapping Party.
Invite a couple friends over for cocktails, cookies and gift wrapping. I mean, if you’re supplying cookies & cocktails and I’ll gift-wrap your frigging house for you if you want.
The holidays are all about enjoying friends and family, spending quality time together and helping each other….. Not about being perfect (I am learning to let that go).
Ok…. I added an 8th…..
8. I’d Like it Delivered, Pls
Order the entire holiday meal, or a few sides and the desserts to lighten your load. A number of specialty markets and grocery stores like Whole Foods, offer amazingly delicious homemade sides, desserts and mains for holidays. Not pre-packaged crap. Actual handmade mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, stuffing, gravy, green beans…..
Some places deliver, others you have to pick it up. Everything comes with easy heat-and-eat instructions, so it’s virtually fool proof. It’s not like you’re throwing Hungry Man Turkey Dinners in the oven – it’s fine.
Imagine having the table set and house cleaned the day prior, then popping delivered yet handmade holiday sides and desserts into the oven to heat and serve. So much more relaxing, and you’ll actually enjoy the season and the fam so much more 😉
