A Dating Blueprint consists of the 4-6 Non-Negotiables most important to YOU in a partner. It acts as a rudder during the dating process – keeping you on track!
Identify What You Want – Don’t Get Sidetracked by His Royal Hotness!
Smarter – faster – happier
Here’s the deal. Having the hots for someone is all great and everything, but let’s be real….unless you’re still in the wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am stage of life (no judgement!) ya kinda want to know, sooner rather than later, if he’s got the most important qualities and traits that you’re looking for, right? Right!
I call the most important qualities & traits – your Non-Negotiables.
Non-Negotiables are:
The key qualities (defined by you) that a Partner must-have, in order to be considered a contender in your life. The absence of even 1 Non-Negotiable, kills the deal. Examples may be: Integrity, Honesty, Faithfulness, Ambition, Even-tempered, etc. Whatever is MOST important to you.
The optimal time to identify your Non-Negotiables are before you even meet him – and fo sho’ before you sleep with him! Optimally.
Why? Because sex clouds our better judgement. It just does. Recognize! We’ll brush off behaviors or character traits that we never in a million years would have been ok with. He’s actually lazy and unmotivated…. yeah but he’s hot! Ugh. Been there. Don’t do it, lol. No seriously – don’t do that. If ambition and drive are one of your Non-Negotiables, can you imagine yourself in 10-years with a bunch of kids and a lazy husband? No!!
The Solution: Create a Dating Blueprint!
A Dating Blueprint is made up of 4-6 qualities that are your personal must-have’s in a partner. These are your Non-Negotiables – meaning they all have to be present, for the deal to continue moving forward. That’s why there are so few. They are concentrated and vital.
The Dating Blueprint is also your dating-rudder, steering you in the right direction. It is also a voice of reason. In the unlikely event (haha), that you’re suddenly lustfully obsessed with the UPS guy – (cough…he’s hot…cough), chill out for a second and reference your Blueprint. If you (sadly) realize he’s got 1 out of 6 of your Non-Negotiables, you’ll probably slow your roll. After a cold shower.
Make your Dating Blueprint in (3) steps:
1. Take out a piece of paper
Write down everything that is important to you in a partner. Everything you can think of – do not filter! You’ll get to edit in a second, for now – just write until you can’t write anymore.
2. On another piece of paper, make 2 columns
Label Column 1 = Non-negotiables. Label Column 2 = Would-like-to-have.
Look at your list and group what you wrote according to these definitions:
Non-Negotiables:
Suggest 5-6 max. These are the 4-6 qualities that have to be present in a potential partner. The absence of any one of these, means the entire deal is off. For this reason, non-negotiables are usually a short list because c’mon – no one is perfect. If you have 20 Non-Negotiables, the issue is probably staring back at you in the mirror. It forces us to really identify what is most important to us.
Would-like-to-have:
These are qualities that you would like him/her to have, but they aren’t deal-breakers. In other words, if all of your Non-Negotiables are there – you’ve got a good one! Give the poor person a break, lol. Think of this area as your bonus-section.
3. Play around with it
Take your time. Really think through what’s most important to you. Leave and come back to it as you need, but ultimately you want 5-6 Non-Negotiables. Choose as many Would-likes as you want. Remember – they’re bonuses.
You Now Have Your Dating Blueprint
Put it somewhere easy to grab & reference. When you start dating someone, or even if you’re in a relationship now – you’ll start to become keenly aware, viewing things through a different lens. A lens of complete clarity and direction.
When you’re able to compare someone you’re interested in, against your Dating Blueprint – which are really, the qualities you deemed most important to you – written in the light of day with a clear mind, it is incredibly helpful and telling.
And you know the best part of this? The Universe rewards clarity and direction. Once you’re clear on what you want, and say “no” to those who aren’t for your best and highest good – the Universe delivers exactly what you’ve asked for. Watch!
What do you think? Share Comments & Feedback below….
