The way a man talks to & treats his mom is like a crystal ball into your future. It is so telling – don’t ignore it.
How He Treats Mom, is How He’ll Treat You
Win, lose or draw – the way a guy talks to, feels about and treats his mom is like looking at your future life in a crystal ball! It is a very strong predictor of the way in which you can expect him to treat you – should the relationship progress. Seriously. I hate to make such a universal statement – but doesn’t it make total sense?
When I look back on past relationships (because you know, hindsight’s 20/20) – the parallels between how each boyfriend treated his mom and the way he treated me were uncanny. It’s so eye-opening to look at it through that lens!
I remember one boyfriend, who loved his mom and was inarguably good to her, but had a total lack of respect for her input surrounding business, or pretty much anything outside of the home. Guess what we argued over? Yup. When it came to anything business related, I couldn’t get 2 words out before he lost interest in what I had to say. BUT, he was really good to me in all other aspects. Just like his mama.
Here are 4 Key Qualities to Watch For as He Interacts With Mom:
#1 Is he kind and thoughtful towards her?
So key! Does he do little things to make her life easier without her asking – you know, like carrying in groceries or getting her suitcase from the car. Notice if he’s thoughtful, doing things to make her feel special and cared for.
If you checked “yes” on the above – yay! He’s the type of guy who’s going to be kind to you and thoughtful of your feelings. He’ll naturally look for ways to make your life easier and nicer, because that’s just who he is. His happiness will come from making you feel special!
I’ll share a personal example with you:
When Oliver’s parents us visit from England, he insists on picking them up from the airport even though he could just send a car. He carries their suitcases up to the guestrooms, makes sure they have fresh towels and toiletries—then bakes his mom’s favorite cookies to have with her tea.
He shows the same level of kindness and thoughtfulness to me! If I’m out of town, he texts me the day I’m due home, to ask what he can get me from the grocery store. When I get home, he has my favorite foods all stocked in the fridge and will even run me a hot bath. Point is—it is the same level of thought and kindness he shows his mom. Watch for it!
A guy will show you the same level of respect that he shows his mom, pretty quickly into the relationship.
#2 Is he respectful to her – both in words and actions?
I’ve found this one to be really important. Respect is the way he speaks to his mom and about his mom. Is he respectful and gentle with her, even if he disagrees? How does he talk about her, to you?
When she’s talking, does he listen patiently,ordoes he look dismissive, impatient and generally give the impression that whatever she’s saying is unimportant?
Respect is one of those things that you just know it when you see it. It either feels good, or it feels belittling. Honor your gut. A guy will show you the same level of respect that he shows his mom, pretty quickly in the relationship. Listen and watch!
#3 Is he loving and affectionate towards her?
Does he give her a warm hug when he sees her, or is he kinda cold and stand-offish? Do you sense love, warmth and genuine affection between them or does there seem to be distance or awkwardness?
If he isn’t warm and affectionate to his mom, chances are it’ll be the same with you. Shoot! If you’re just starting to date, you may not see this right away – you know, the honeymoon stage. If he IS genuinely warm and affectionate with mom – good!! That means a lifetime of hugs and affection – thumbs up!
#4 Does he listen to her opinion with an open mind?
Ultimately, he makes up his own mind, right? I mean, if he does everything his mom says—you’ve landed yourself a big ole mama’s boy my friend. That’s a whole different conversation! I’m talking about listening to her with an open mind because he values and respects her input, that’s all.
If he’s dismissive of her thoughts right off the bat, guess what? He probably isn’t going to give your input much weight down the line, either. That can be really annoying. On the other hand, if you can see that he listens and at least considers her input – you want that!
What other things do you think it’s important to watch for?
Share your feedback and comments below!