Let him open the door, pull your chair out – treat you to dinner. It’s called being a Gentleman…or Chivalry. Either way – embrace it. it’s kinda nice ;- )
Boys have swagger. Men have style. Gentleman have Character.
I’m not embarrassed to admit it now – although for quite a while I was:
I love a man who knows how to be a gentleman and it’s just seamlessly integrated into who he is. It’s such a refreshing respite from a world that can be pretty cantankerous & inconsiderate at times.
Little courtesies, like having the door held open, or stopping to allow you to pass first when a passage isn’t wide enough, helping with bags or car doors….just little niceties!
How about you? Do you love & welcome chivalry or do you think it’s a totally outdated concept?
WAIT! First consider how you’d feel about these 3 scenarios. Respond either BUG or NOT BUG!
You’re on a date, feeling super cute per the usual. Walking towards the restaurant, you approach the door, pausing briefly for him to open it for you….like a gentleman, lol! Instead, he swings it open and marches through, leaving you to hurry and dart through.
You’re on a 1stdate. He’s asked you out for drinks. The check comes, and he says, “How about if we split this?”
Now, it’s your first weekend getaway together! He pulls up to your house, and texts to let you know he’s outside vs. coming to the door to get you.
What if he sits in the car – and watches as you lug your bags down the stairs vs. getting out help?
If you answered BUG to all or most of the Scenarios – Chivalry is your bag, Baby! Own it!
In an effort to assert our strength – we sorta threw the baby out with the bathwater
I do understand why. For so long, we were portrayed as delicate little flowers in need of help and care. Like we were children, when in fact we are grown, competent adults.
So, in an effort to prove our inherent strength, we threw the baby out with the bathwater and rejected most every traditional courtesy. Nice things like door holding, helping with bags, paying a dinner bill, etc. Myself included, truth be told. I was probably one of the worst!
Having the door held, help with your bags, or assistance out of the car when you’re in heels (that just happened to me the other day!) – are so nice! Really! Truth be told, I even secretly love it when the men at the table stand, when a lady both leaves to the restroom and returns. It might look a little awkward at Rubio’s, but hey!
What I hear most from women, on the DL – is a longing for those gentlemanly courtesies!
Look for these little courtesies when dating:
+ Opening doors for you and for others as appropriate.
+ Pulling out the chair to seat you.
+ Letting you take lead when walking to and from the table in a restaurant.
+ Letting you order first.
+ Planning dates vs “Hey, wanna hang out?” So cheesy.
+ Walking on the part of the sidewalk nearest to the curb.
+ Offering his coat if you are cold.
+ Taking care of the tab. Yes! It’s not a money thing, it’s a courtesy!
Why is it so important to look for these things in the beginning? Because the way he treats you during the dating stage, isindicative of how he will treat you in the future! Truth!
My entire paternal side (except my dad) all live in the deep south, Louisiana. Everything is still “yes ma’am, yes sir.” My mom is “Miss Carol”, dad is “Mr. Jerry.” It’s just so nice, and such a refreshing respite from the level of rudeness that seems to have seeped into our world. Sad-face emoji.
Men are understandably confused – let’s help them!
So here’s the deal: As women, we have share responsibility in turning the ship around. A lot of men are confused as to what we want. Do they open the door or not? Do they pay the dinner tab or ask to split it so as not to offend…. I get it.
For example – My poor yoga instructor was understandably frustrated last week. Originally from Georgia, he was on a first date with a woman he had been wanting to take out. Walking into a restaurant, he went to open the door for her like a gentleman,which apparently offended her because she grabbed the door and said, “I can open a door MY-SELF!” So….yeah. Maybe a little extreme of an example, but you get the idea.
Chivalry is like a modern- day tipping of the hat. Let’s embrace it and encourage it! How? By simply smiling and saying “thank you.” When I’m in public, and a man holds the door for me, or stops to let me walk by first – I always, always smile and say “thank you for being such a gentleman!” The look of happiness on their face at the appreciation and acknowledgment of a kind act is invaluable!
What do you think? Share your feedback and comments below!