Ok, So Here’s the Cold Hard Truth:
+ You will never please everyone. That is OK. Not everyone’s opinion matters.
+ You will never be liked by everyone. Even the most beloved people have haters. Let it go.
+ People will say unkind, hurtful things about you. So what. It doesn’t change your truth.
+ Regardless of the nobility of your cause someone will take issue with it. That’s fine. If they don’t like it, they don’t have to participate.
I’ve often summed it up this way:
You could cure cancer and save puppies in a single day and someone, somewhere is going to take issue that you didn’t cure diabetes and save cats instead – Right!? My point is – don’t worry about it. Seriously. Don’t allow it to soak up your precious energy!
Not everyone’s opinion matters
In a world where “everyone gets a say & everyone gets a star,” I call bullsh*t. Everyone does not get a say – in all things. Most specifically – in the way you choose to live and the path you feel drawn to take – you know, the one that brings you authentic happiness!
Understanding whose opinion matters and whose does not has the power to change your life. Why? Because it filters out the noise and the distractions that come from putting too much stock into caring what the wrong people think.
Opinions that do not matter, are from those passing judgement from a place rooted in hatred, jealousy, insecurity, or resentment. These can be online-trolls, strangers, co-workers, “friends”, acquaintances, even some family members.
I promise, you know the people in your life who belong in this category.
Let’s take social media trolls for example
Chances are, you’ve had a few trolls on your social media pages over the years. Think about how you felt when you read mean comments. It probably hurt a little, then turned into mild anger.
But why? Did the comment really alter your life in anyway? Did your family stop loving you?
Did it take away your life’s accomplishments, or diminish your value as a person? No. It only poked at the ego, and the need to feel liked. Nothing more. Recognize it. Now let it go.
Next, separate Constructive criticism from Destructive criticism:
Constructive criticism
Is useful feedback that works to create positive growth. It’s usually given from people who love and care for you.
Destructive criticism
Is mean-spirited criticism meant to do nothing other than hurt & belittle. It’s usually from insecure people like social media trolls, or negative people in your life. This is an example of “not everyone’s opinion matters.”
The most important & valuable skill we can adopt – is learning to welcome constructive criticism or feedback from those we love, trust and respect. These are the people who truly have our best interests in mind.
Constructive criticism facilitates our growth and evolution.
Positive Growth is a Balance of Confidence + Accepting Constructive Feedback
Believe me – I know that it can be really hard to face some of our own short-comings. Especially if it’s an area in which you really pride yourself – it can be extra painful! BUT – in order to grow – sometimes you gotta suck it up, buttercup.
I seriously eye-roll when I hear someone say “Don’t ever listen to what anyone else says!” That’s just asinine.
You can’t go through life, literally ignoring everything everyone says, if it’s contrary to your own opinion or desire.
That is not how you grow and get better. Positive growth comes from a very unique balance of confidence and belief- in-self, along with the ability to intuitively separate feedback that is constructive and well-intentioned, from that which is meant to belittle and hurt.
It comes from listening with an open mind, to those you love and trust, but in the end making up your own mind, following your own path.
Those that love us, have the best of intentions—but only you know what is best for you!
Thoughts? Feedback? Comment & share below!
