This one little tweak solves SO many common frustrations faced by all-the-single-ladies, (I feel a song comin’ on), you may just find yourself agreeing!
Waiting for SEX – 4 Reasons Why This Empowers You!
If you think a guy is relationship material, and that is what you’re looking for—WAIT until he has asked you to be in an Exclusive Relationship, before sleeping with him.
Ok – this sounds way more archaic than it actually is, so hear me out first! And btw, I’m not saying wait for marriage, unless that’s your thing of course. I’m just proposing that you slow your roll until you’ve both decided to be exclusive. And he has to be the one to ask, of course. Let him pursue you…..
This one little tweak solves so many common issues faced by a lot of single gals, you may just find yourself agreeing!
Have you or a friend ever been in this situation:
You’ve started seeing someone on a fairly regular basis and you really like him! You’re sleeping together – but there’s been no talk of an exclusive relationship. Some weekends he’ll ask you out, some not. Now you’re in that awful space of wondering: What does he want from the relationship? Where does he see this going? Is he seeing anyone else? Are you exclusive or not, etc. NOT fun!
I’d seriously like to have a dollar for every time a friend, sleeping with a guy she’s dating outside of an Exclusive Commitment, said something like this: “I don’t know if he’s seeing other people, or just me. Do you think I should ask him?
Or worst yet, she initiates the talk. You know, the one where she drills him on where he sees the relationship going, and whether he’s seeing anyone else? Now he’s got one foot out the door because she is pursuing him & it comes off as desperate. Right or Wrong – that’s how a guy will see it. No Bueno.
By the time you have to ask a guy where he sees the relationship going—GAME OVER. It’s a form of chasing, which is not an optimal spot to be in. Don’t do it.
Wait until he has asked you to be exclusive before hittin’ the sheets.
By the time you have to ask a guy where he sees the relationship going – GAME OVER. Why? Because you’ve relinquished your power. Now he controls the situation.
3 Pitfalls of Sleeping With Him Before a Commitment
+ You relinquish power
When you sleep with a guy outside of an Exclusive Relationship, you shift the power dynamic from you—to him. You ostensibly switch from the position of buyer, to seller . . . in a buyer’s market.
+ He is free to have his cake and eat it too
Why wouldn’t he continue seeing you and a few others – or at least leave the door open to the opportunity? You can’t cheat on someone, if you don’t have an exclusive relationship, right? That is how men generally think.
+ You create an emotional attachment
Not only have you relinquished, or at least diminished your leverage in the situation, but now there is an added layer of extra-emotional attachment, because you’re sleeping with him! As women, most of us get much more emotionally attached when sex enters the picture.
Here’s how you benefit from waiting!
Win, Lose or Draw – you win either way
+ If he stops calling or loses interest because you won’t sleep with him first, fine.
He didn’t want to be Exclusive and now you know sooner not later. Because you’ve smartly avoided the pitfall of forming that extra emotional connection – it makes the healing process much quicker and less difficult. You may feel a little bummed that it didn’t work out, but I promise – you’ll heal much quicker & move on pretty unscathed.
+ Waiting, gives you the mental and emotional mind-space to assess the relationship
Basically, you’re thinking with a clear head. This lets you to assess the situations with much greater clarity. When that extra emotional connection is formed, we are more likely to overlook things we would otherwise “flag” as deal-breakers. Waiting, allows you to be much more objective, grounded and in control of the situation. That’s empowering.
+ It automatically and exponentially increases your stock
You win either way! If he stops calling, he will at least have respect and admiration for you. If you do end up in a committed relationship — he will always remember that you had standards and the confidence to stick to your guns. That can’t ever be taken away from you.
+ You elevate yourself above the pack
Very, very few women take this tactic. You’ll be one of the few, standing head and shoulders above the fray. The most important thing – is to feel proud, confident and powerful. This is exactly how you will feel, win, lose or draw.
Make life easier on yourself and more empowering. Slow your roll and wait. You are more than worth it.
What do you think? Share your feedback and experiences below!